Sharon, my ex-girlfriend, came over tonight because she said that she needed to ?talk? to me. Well she really just wanted someone to wine to, which I can understand and is cool; I mean I need that sometimes too, so she wined about some guy named Grey and how he got dumped by his girlfriend. I wasn?t really into all of it, but you know, I can listen when I person needs me to. But then, the glass of wine and straight vodka martini kicked in and, I just yelled at her in my own way.

Now you have to understand when I yell, I just rant what?s on my mind, but I really don?t raise my voice, I will just over express what I?m saying. So I get all angry at her for the simplest of all reasons, which I believe she?s throwing her life away. I don?t understand it, this is one of the smartest, most amazing girls I?ve ever know who has their shit together and she is unhappy. Not only she unhappy, but she is miserable and it seems every time I see her it is worse and worse, so I was at the point where I had to do something.

I went against all my morals and told her something?s I could never agree with, but if they made her happy, I think that?s what she needs to do. That is where this girl is at; she just needs all positive things in her life right now, because it seems that everything is bad. For one she is having sex, which I now have learned through my experience and maturity, you should only do if you are in love. Sex is for love. For myself, that?s the only time that I can truly enjoy it. I tried to get that into her head, but I?m sure I failed.

However, I did manage to piss her off. That wasn?t a goal of mine, but you know what, I know she will be thinking about this night a long time from now. How can I let someone I once loved and greatly cared for let herself degrade who she is? Every time I see her I can only ask myself that question. I just want to see her happy, I can only wish and hope that she will be, and I will do everything in my power (which is very limited now) to make sure that happens.